All my life, I've been doing just this: burning bridges.  I'm a certifiable pyromaniac.  I end each chapter of my life with a fire ritual, breaking down every tie I made out of shame or hate or just unexplainable self-sabotage.

Then one day, someone wise said to me that burning bridges is the worst thing one can do to oneself.  It's simply not wise to leave a trail of fire in your wake instead of a trail of fond memories.  Sometimes simply cutting ties or in any other way severing yourself from someone without a single word may seem like the best course of action (and I will be the first to admit that this can sometimes be true), but is it really the best or does just seem to be the easiest when cornered by the prospect of actually facing our problems head on?  If we have a disagreement or mishap or falling out with another human being, does it really benefit either of us to just abandon that relationship on a note of bitterness?  No, not at all.

Every fiber of my being has always rebelled against confrontation, especially if I'm the one that's done something wrong, no matter how minor.  I also have the habit of blaming myself even when I realize later I hadn't actually done anything wrong at all, which has lead to extra problems for me that could have been resolved with some rational thought and confrontation of the matter.  I've ducked into rooms and around corners, practically run from people that I wanted to avoid, just to save myself from having to look them in the eyes or offer up some stumbling words of explanation.  I've gone to extraordinary lengths to cut myself off completely from people and to forget the problems between us, but it is surprisingly hard to forget bitterness, especially when the case for resolving it and healing seems hopeless.  The least I could have done would have been to end those ties on a positive note, to have faced my fears and dispelled that haunting taste on the back of my tongue.

Also, I cannot neglect to mention the bitterness that comes from cutting oneself off from someone for just no good reason.  We blow off our friends, we avoid phone calls and text messages simply because we don't feel like talking, and we make others feel lousy for nothing.  It doesn't take much effort to send someone a text later on when you're in a better mood or to at least tell someone as far in advance as possible that we won't be able to join them for something, but for some reason we don't do it.  Why?  Because it seems easiest, and it's easy to do the easy thing.

My point here is not that we should maintain contact with everyone we've ever met, even those that we'd like to forget, but that we shouldn't leave bitter.  If you're going to part, part friends, part positively.  You have no idea how it can hurt you if you don't.  Leave the bridge standing; you may never cross it again, but it is good to know that it still stands if you ever need it.  And if you've burned a bridge, all it takes to build it back is a little extra effort, some careful consideration, and some positive action toward resolution. 

I've made a little vow to myself that before I go on to graduate school, I'm going do my best to rebuild every bridge that I've burned in the latest chapter of my life like a flock of phoenixes from the ashes.  If you stop to really think about it, all it takes is a little maturity and humility to make things right.  There is no bridge that I've burned within the past 2 years that I cannot think of a way to rebuild.  I guess once the foundation is laid, there will always be something there to build a bridge off of.