Why?  Why do I let this wonderful blog lapse?  I suppose I've been very caught up in life-type things.  Mostly I think it is because I like doing this blog so much, yet it requires a bit of work, therefore, I feel guilty for putting that working effort into the blog rather than other things that are "more important."

The good news is that I've finally graduated.  I have my Bachelors.  It is over.  It was horrible, and it is now over.  All that super-stress and guilt that came with my last semester (and many before it) took me away from a great many things I loved, and I'm slowly learning how to come back to them.  I'm happy to have a bit of free time on my hands to do that.

I haven't written in ages, but just the other day, I sat down and wrote two poems.  Just like, BAM, poetry.  It was beautiful, and I thought I might cry.  I missed writing, and I missed reading for pleasure.  It's just no fun when you're forced to read twenty things in one week and analyze them to death on someone else's terms.  I like to have the time to savor the things I read and to discover them on a personal level rather than viciously cram them and all their minute details into my brain in order to ultimately "prove" that I learned something via online discussion or test.  Sure, I often gained valuable insight from that type of reading, but I hate when that's the only type of reading I have time for.  I don't even think I read more than 10 books or stories on my own last year, and that almost frightens me.

I'm also relearning how to people, because school and guilt turned me into a complete shut-in.  I love going places with my husband and my friends and having fun, but when school is looming in the back of my mind, it detracts from the experience, so much so that I begin to stop bothering. 

I have just been so ready for this break between undergrad and graduate school.  Although I don't really consider it a break as much as I consider it a very relaxing rediscovery or awakening of some sort.  I've taken up plenty of new hobbies (as well as old ones that I just never do anymore), I actually interact with other humans now, and I have resolved to take my writing much, much more seriously.  It has always been a side project, and now that I have a little time, I want it to be my main focus. 

I will also be reestablishing and reinvigorating this blog, starting with giving it a nice facelift.  I'm actually pretty sick of the way it looks, and I want something fresh.  HTML, here I come!

I'll admit right here that not having school over my head is extremely surreal, a strange and abyssal feeling, but I'll strive to make the best of it.  After all, a great many things in my life that have felt surreal have also been and felt beautiful.  Why not love that feeling and love the experience for what it is?

Best to anyone still reading.