The other day, I went out to eat at Chamblee Steak House with one of my besties who has been around since about the 6th grade.  We were waiting on our salmon and nomming on some bread dipped in this really amazing olive oil when the topic of never seeing anybody anymore came up.  Of course we do what our schedule allows, have fun, see each other as often as we can, but it's surreal to think what a total 180 flip it is from seeing everyone all day every day in high school.

We really took those days for granted, because now there will never be another time when we can just go to a specified meeting place with the guarantee that all of our friends will be there, sit around on the weekends and after school without thinking about higher obligations or work, nor get free school.  Granted, to quote my friend's girlie, there's no way I could ever go back to going to school every day.  The thought makes me shudder, because I really prefer long blocks of working on the same subject and the freedom to control my education.  If I were ever stuffed back into the same classroom environment offered by high school, I'd probably just snap.

Of course, I really love my life now and wouldn't change a bit of it, but it's strange how one can't help but be so nostalgic about  a place we all once considered a prison.  I spent some of the worst years of my life there, spiraling in a pit of yucky stuff, but I also found my moments where life seemed to shine through that, glimmers of what could be or could have been if I'd just done things a little differently.  I see now that it wasn't worth it to throw away my happiness and my life for someone who was an all-around monster, and while I know I've said this before, I'm really sorry to all of you that I lost touch with during those tumultuous high school years.  However, I'm infinitely grateful for those of you that for some reason decided to stick by me through that whole mess, despite my obstinate insistence on dragging things down by strapping myself to a retarded rock.  I don't know if I'd have ever made it through without your help.  You may be wondering how you helped, and I want you to know that the biggest help of all was your friendship.  Thank you all so much. <3

Things that I miss... I miss standing outside in the freezing cold like idiots just to play hacky sack and eat a muffin, and I miss dancing in the snack bar with hot cocoa.  I miss seeing everyone, getting moments to talk to and spend time with people that now I probably haven't seen in years (but don't love any less <3).  Most of all, I miss band!  Granted, we had some idiots in the percussion section (one of them having latched like a lamprey to my underside), but we all had so much fun.  Even during the moments when I didn't have a friend in the world to talk to, when I'd been totally cut off from everyone and everything I enjoyed, I found my community and my friendship in all of my band geeks.  I'll never forget the xylophone crushing Nathan's trumpet, the time all the rookies got facial hair drawn on them to look like Mr. Kilgo, Mr. K lording over us on his tower of terror, naming that formation the "fluffy chicken" so when he told us to go there we would all run to Kara, stuffing hot hands into our gloves, blowing into our instruments to keep them warm, gathering in a giant clump before going on the field to cheer and get warm, and having total nerd rage on people who couldn't march.  The year I helped Shea with rookie camp, half the rookies quit in the middle, and I was both ashamed and full of laughs because a.) kids are lazy now and b.) one of the kids actually told mommy we worked him too hard.  I swear, Fairview's marching band wouldn't even exist anymore if it wasn't against the law or school rules or what have you to treat them like we were treated when we wanted to become part of the marching band, to become the best and make the best scores.  I could've cried the first time we got a 2 at competition.  SHAME.  SHAME ON THEM YOUNG'UNS.

Well, for those of you who are still on my ride, even though we've passed and left behind some interesting bits, we'll always remember them fondly and remember those that hopped off and went their own way, and of course, the best is yet to come.